View Full Version : [Off Topic] A question about love

Abare Killer
05-03-2006, 02:21 PM
:abakill Well, we get some pretty odd questions and threads in this forum, so hopefully this one is okay. If not, go ahead and close it.

My sister and I were debating yesterday about love. She thinks that if you have a crush on someone, you can automatically say that you love them. I think that love takes time to develop, and liking someone is different than loving them. You can have a crush without it being full-fledged love. Love has to grow stronger as you get to know the person. This is why I don't believe in love at first sight. That's based on appearance, and real love is based on more than that, like personality and a bond with the person.

So, my question to you is this: Do you think that you can say you love someone as soon as you have a crush on them, or do you think it has to build up from a crush to real love?

Sorry if this was confusing, but I was curious as to what you all thought about it. Please share your thoughts on this. :abakill

Angus Saxon
05-03-2006, 02:36 PM
I pretty much agree with you about crushes and real love being different. I would never say I love you to someone who's just a crush. I mainly say this because I have experienced actual love at first sight for myself. It's such a different feeling than just a crush, in fact I didn't even have a crush on her when I first met her. I just couldn't get her out of my mind and didn't know why. It's so hard to explain, and it's pretty rare, but it does exist and I was so lucky to have it.

05-03-2006, 02:40 PM
I think everyone has their own definition, but i'd have to agree that having a crush is not love. A crush is usually based off of things like appearance or something equally material.

As far as love taking time to develop is another thing that is different for everyone. Some people believe in love at first sight.

As for me, I dunno what I believe. I've had crushes before but I can definately say it wasn't love.

05-03-2006, 02:47 PM
I think that love is different to each person and comes in a variety of forms. For example;

I love one of my closest friends and I express it towards him all the time. He loves me back. Its not an actual feeling of butterflies in the stomach type love, but it the love of friendship that keeps us close and permits us to express the fact that we do care about each other enough to love the other person.

The second type is the sibling/parental love. You love your parents and your siblings because you share a bond with them. They're related to you in blood and you accept them into your lives willingly, or unwillingly. Even if you express your eternal hate for your parents or brothers or sisters, deep down inside you know that you do care enough about them that if something were to go wrong, you'd be loosing someone very close to your heart.

The third type of love, is LOVE. This is the type of love where people express feeling butterflies in their stomachs, can't talk, can't do anything because they're in love with this person. They have some sort of a deeper connection, which takes time to develop and can't be forged by just having a petty crush on them. For most people, this type of love occurs when they've known or dated someone for a long period of time.

I don't think its fair to say that if you have a crush on someone that you automatically love them. For alot of people in our day and age, they're quick to jump the gun in actually looking for love. They meet someone, develop a crush on them and automatically assume it's love, when it can actually be confused for lust or something else. Love isn't something you're gonna go out and find in some random guy/girl on the street. It's a time developed feeling.

I've been in the boat with two boys in particular where I thought it was love... But it wasn't. Just crushes with a bit more infactuation.

Abare Killer
05-03-2006, 03:07 PM
:abakill Ah, nice to see your thoughts, guys.

And I definately meant romantic love. Friend love and family love is different. I love all of my close friends. And I love Del, Tiz, Erica, and Angela as siblings. That's a special bond between very close friends.

I meant romantic, butterflies-in-your-stomach type of love. I can only say I've truely felt that twice about two different guys, and that the feeling is developing for a certain guy right now. While I've had numerous crushes in my life, the feeling only really became strong enough to be called love those two times. Crushes come and go and are easy to get over, but love last a long time and it's hard to get over most of the time.

But I believe that true romantic love requires a special connection with the person, whether you ever actually get with them or not. A crush takes time to develop into love. I don't think that true love at first sight can really work unless you somehow feel a connection with that person as soon as you see them, which is really rare and hard to happen.

My sister thinks that as soon as you have a crush on someone, it's love. I think that it takes more than a crush to have real love, and that you have to be careful not to over estimate your feelings. :abakill

Queen of Kirommy
05-03-2006, 03:42 PM
This is a fun topic. There are all different degrees of love and crushes is mainly just the basis of instant attraction.

Love to me is hard to explain.

I love my family because they raised me and hopefully they will always be there for me.
I love my friends because we build strong connections on likes, dislikes, and other such. Just earlier I told my friend I loved her...then she told me not in public...but we're dirty pervs...anyways.
I love Jud. I love him. He is the one. I can't explain it but...I love him.

05-03-2006, 04:04 PM
Love is such a odd and funny thing.

So, my question to you is this: Do you think that you can say you love someone as soon as you have a crush on them, or do you think it has to build up from a crush to real love?

I know that love must develop, It must grow over time and get stronger. It's that next step, and it is truly powerful, and you will most definetly know when you are truly in love. It won't smack you in the face, a light won't go on, but it will just be a feeling, a feeling you get when seeing this person, talking to them, being with them, being silent with them in a room...Not like the one when you have that 'honeymoon' like relationship when you frist meet them, but it'll develop if it's true. It's the untold words during an awkward silence, the mutual knowing of what the other is thinking, it's the feeling you get when you feel perfect. That feeling when you ahvn't seen each other is some time, and when you hug them, you feel at home in their arms, and never want them to let go, and when they try to you just hold on tighter.

Love as I just described is how I feel with my boyfriend...it's awesome, and it's never going to stop, and most of all I love him and he loves me. he's the one I'm ment to be with. It's been 8 mths today but it feels more like years. It's crazy and I love him to death. He drives me completly batty sometimes but, it's all good because...I just look at him and laugh it off because he's so goddam cute :)

OCC: I hope some of that mad sense...i'm totally exhausted...and prolly going to pass out on my keyboard right after I post this....

King of Kirommy
05-03-2006, 04:44 PM
While what Chelle said is pretty much exactly along the lines I would have said, I thought i'd offer my own spin on it.

Family: I love my family because without them and their input in my life i would not be the person I am today. I will forever cherish them and love them.

Friends: I love all of my friends, of course in a friendly way. Duh... However, a good majority of my friends are as close to me as family. Plain and simple I love my friends, their being in my life helped make me who i am.

Crushes: Momentary "pockets" ,if you will, of time that sort of flutter through your being...yeah i know poetic...or is it pathetic? ( RENT thing there for those who don't know) they just sorta wash over you and through you. nothin' really to say besides that.

LOVE: Now, I wouldn't say an instant attraction would cover this, Nor would a slow build up over time. When youre' inlove with someone you just know. It may take time to figure that out, obviously.. as that's how a friend can become a lover. But when you know, you just...Do. It clicks instantly and the world makes sense.

I know I love Chelle, the closet i can get to explaining it is that we connect like i've not connected with anyone else. She's like the other half of my soul. My one and only, my everything. She's mine as much as I am hers.I love her.

To "sum up" as it were, an intense strong connection...That's Love.

(( by the way baby, I LOVE what you said and I agree whole heartedly ))

green ranger1
05-06-2006, 03:18 PM
i say that you can say you love someone when you have a crush on them that's what i did back in 2004 with kimberly a girl at my school and we are still with each other 2 years ago.

05-06-2006, 04:49 PM
I've always thought of love as a word. It's the affection beneath the word that's important. So, if someone has a crush on someone, they can claim it's love all they want in my opinion. Until they display it, it's not love. To love something isn't so much something you feel, so much as you do. You love someone by displaying it, by deep down, in your heart, portraying the feelings to the person who matters most to you. It can be simple gestures, a kind word, a kiss on the cheek, whatever.

Love's an action before being a feeling in my book. That's all I gotta say on the subject really. It's something you gradually are able to portray, and so, a crush, in my book, is merely a physical attraction.

Adam Park
05-07-2006, 07:29 AM
Love..i dont know.I have had many crushes but i have only felt love in three guys.Some say it's impossible to love so quickly but to me i think it is.I love easy and thats how i am.Maybe it's a flaw i have i can never be sure.

Ukiya Shun
05-07-2006, 08:08 AM
For me, Love and crushes are completely two different things.

If a person truly loves someone, he or she must be willing to go through major hell with his/her partner.

05-07-2006, 02:32 PM
There's also several levels of love between mates as well, IMO. True love between a young couple is great, but if they've only been together a few years, the love has hardly had time to mature.